If you’ve ever wondered “Why do I react this way?” or “Am I doing this right?", you’re not alone!
Parenting doesn’t come with a manual, but the way we parent follows patterns. These patterns are called "parenting styles", and understanding yours can completely change how you respond to your child’s behaviour, emotions, and growing independence.
At Raising Good Kids, we believe ALL KIDS ARE GOOD KIDS. When children struggle, they’re not being difficult, they are communicating. And when parents understand their own parenting style, they’re better equipped to guide their children with confidence, connection, and clarity.
What Is a Parenting Style?
Your parenting style is the overall approach you take to:
* Discipline and boundaries
* Emotional support
* Communication
* Independence and responsibility
It’s shaped by how you were raised, your stress level, your beliefs about behaviour, and your child’s unique temperament. Most parents don’t fall into just one category and that’s okay. Awareness is what allows you to parent intentionally instead of reactively.
The 4 Common Parenting Styles (Quick Overview)
Researchers often describe four main parenting styles. You may recognize pieces of yourself in more than one.
Authoritarian Parenting
High structure, low emotional flexibility. Rules are strict, and obedience is prioritized often at the cost of emotional connection.
Permissive Parenting
High warmth, low boundaries. Parents are nurturing and supportive but may struggle to hold limits or allow children to experience consequences.
Uninvolved Parenting
Low structure and low connection. This style is often linked to burnout or overwhelm rather than lack of love.
Authoritative Parenting
High structure *and* high connection. Boundaries are clear, emotions are acknowledged, and children are guided toward independence.
Authoritative parenting is most closely aligned with "positive parenting" and long-term emotional health.
How Your Parenting Style Affects Your Child
Your parenting style influences how your child:
* Handles big emotions
* Develops confidence and self-esteem
* Learns problem-solving skills
* Builds independence
* Navigates relationships
Children raised with both structure and emotional safety are more likely to feel capable, secure, and resilient.
When parents shift from controlling behaviour to teaching skills, kids learn to trust themselves, and you.
Why Awareness Is the First Step to Positive Parenting
You don’t need to change everything about how you parent. But understanding *why* you respond the way you do gives you the power to choose differently when needed.
Instead of:
* Reacting out of stress
* Questioning yourself constantly
* Swinging between strict and permissive
You begin to:
* Respond with intention
* Hold boundaries calmly
* Support emotional regulation
* Encourage independence
Parenting becomes less about “fixing” behaviour and more about guiding development.
Raising Independent Kids Starts With Understanding Yourself
Children don’t become independent because they’re pushed—they become independent because they feel safe, supported, and capable.
When parents:
* Stay calm during big emotions
* Allow age-appropriate responsibility
* Model emotional regulation
* Trust their child’s ability to learn
Children grow into confident, capable individuals who know they can handle hard things.
Because raising good kids starts with understanding ourselves.